Ship of Theseus

Lately I have been doing some thinking... yes that time of the year. 

I belong to a generation that saw fewer inventions and more innovations. What has changed in the last 20 years? A lot? Yes. Enough? May be. Are we in the world that Jetson’s showed us we would be in? Hell No. That by the way is a big bummer. Nevertheless, we still have Facebook, and Uber, smartphones, and Sarahaha.

In this ever changing world there is a constant need to reinvent and yet there is a special value to things that stayed the same. Things for which the time is frozen. It’s like Maggi. I know how it used to taste like, smell like and last time I had it, which was about 25 mins ago, it tasted the same and had the same aroma. May be we like it because it gives us “That ghar wali feeling”. Maggie could very well be a horcrux we never realized we had, it has stayed with us, made us feel safe and for those 10 mins, we would probably go into our happy place. (suck it wai-wai and patanjali noodles)

This paradox is not just limited to things, it’s equally or in fact even more prevalent in humans. With this cut throat competition and ever increasing market potential, you are required to better yourself quickly while you are still at work. Not just learning but unlearning and relearning is equally important. And yet you are expected to stay the same. Be the same person you used to be.

My parents, friends I have known for life, girlfriend, and an auto rickshaw guy, all have said this to me at least once. “You have changed”.

But then is it all that bad?

Whats app has been one hell of an innovation. It’s like that one lucky bastard who gets the highest marks in viva only because his exam is at the exact right time when the professor is in hurry to wind it up. There have been better messaging apps before and after and yet here we are, not paying $ 1/year because Mark is bae!

So anyway, one great thing about WhatsApp and such other messaging apps is the way it has kept us all together, there is literally a group for every god damn gathering that ever took place. In fact there are more groups than individual chats. I was also added into a group chat by this group of Aussies I met somewhere in Germany while we shared the bathroom for roughly 30 seconds. I just received a picture on a group of a girl that looked just like one of our friends who is also on the group. A doppelganger. In fact I am sure I have one of the most common faces in the universe by sheer number of people who have told me they knew someone who looked justttt like me, I am sure my creator endorsed Ctrl C + Ctrl V and idolized Pritam. The conversation right now in the group is about the similarities about that person and my friend and the differences. All fun and games of course.

I recently “backpacked” across Europe with two of my closest friends. Friends, I have now known for almost a decade. Friends that moved places to find their own destiny and figure out their own mantra to happiness. There was a time we would spend days and nights together talking about things that seemed important but clearly weren’t. And then came times when we would meet once a year or may be not even then. Very Dil Chahta Hai..

While there were so many things to see, explore, and absorb from the beautiful towns and lovely people I was also exploring my same old but new friends. Yes, they have changed. 

And here is the grand entrance of the title of the blog, Ship of Theseus: Imagine a ship made of wood. It is so old that each part has undergone some change. All the planks have been replaced; in fact, every single aspect has been replaced. Is it still the same ship?

I am no philosopher but I have this paradox quite sorted in my head. It’s not the same ship. But it is a better one. In all aspects. The new ship will remind you of the old one and that’s great. My friends aren’t the same anymore. They are so much better versions of themselves its remarkable, all are living lives on their own. Surviving completely out of their comfort zones. One speaks a new language; the other has started playing an instrument. Both have enough and more experiences of their journey’s triumphs and failures to completely bug a saint. also all have better hairstyles and are yet positively going bald.

Sitting on College terrace and talking about dreams, to living one across 7000 Kms away it was only possible because they changed. 

I guess the goofs that I met a decade ago were just doppelgangers of my friends I got to meet this year.

I think I should share their pictures on that WhatsApp group. 

Dopplers 2009

Dopplers 2011

Dopplers 2013

2017|Its not the same ship any more

Things I miss, Things I don’t

Things I miss, Things I don’t

For the most part of this adulating phase, I have been telling myself to spend money on experiences and not things. Don’t buy things, invest in them I would remind myself. That way you would have gained something that is long lasting, something that adds value to you and something that’s hard to take away. Explore art, may be it will let you explore yourself. You’ll gain some insight you’ll lose some inhibitions. I am no Buddha, as much I preach to let go, I can’t, and as much I want to stay connected but detached I can’t help but get attached to things. Its harder than you'd think!

Its IPL season and I genuinely believe I have lost interest in cricket since 2011. When my entire generation waited eagerly for something we came very close to during 2003. I still remember the Pepsi ad campaign that had Carl Hooper, Shane Warne and Sachin. Those were the times when Sachin- Shahrukh attempted “Ailla plane” type of ads. But the arrogant bastard from Down Under that is Punter, captaining the Australian team made sure we were far from winning. The team that I still believe was one of the best teams we have ever had, was no match for the Aussies. We lost two matches during the entire world cup and both to the same team. We were the second best team by a huge margin. lots of memories from that world cup though, like many others I can just look at the way scores were displayed on the screen or the Indian jersey and tell you it’s world cup, “that” world cup. Nevertheless, we got our “Mauka Mauka” in 2011, that day and what followed was one unforgettable night and it will forever be remembered by majority of this over populated cricket crazy country.

That was the peak of love for cricket  for me and since then I stopped caring. We win a series, very good,  lose one - no problem! If there is such a thing as nirvana for cricket, this is it.

But for many this isn’t the case. They care, share, breath and believe cricket and all forms of it. Two of my closest friends have absolutely contrasting views on this IPL frenzy. One believes it’s as crucial as any other format of the game; the other believes everything is fixed. From balls to sixes from LBWs to super overs and the rains everything is like Akshay Kumar’s password from Ajnabee. “Everything is planned” he claims. I am amazed with his conviction but I don’t really care. Nirvana remember!?

Only last month one of my relatives went to this IPL match. Super exclusive boxes for ultra VIP people. And in this uber luxury somebody managed to pick their wallet. Thanks to Modi we learnt to live on less cash and more cards, thanks to Modi we learnt the names of security guards outside ATM machines as well (for ATM near my house, its Rakesh during the day and ‘Jonnnie’ after 8 o clock in the night, Rakesh has 2 kids and ‘Jonnnie’ wants to switch jobs and change career line). Anyway soo a new wallet. New home for new monnneayy. This reminded me of the only time (I hope) I lost my wallet. I pretty much gifted it to whoever got it.

I remember being sad about losing whatever little cash I had, being pissed about the hassle I was going to embark on to get the license renewed, debit card blocked and then issue a new one. But what I missed most was the 1 rupee note that my grandmother had signed and given me. One drunk pact on a piece of paper with one of my closest buddies to start a business venture duly signed by witnesses. Ticket to what was a phenomenal match between India and Aus. at Mumbai, incidentally the guy who still believes in cricket, the guy who thinks it’s all fixed and I went for this one. What a game though.  Some memories of my first internship, a worn out bill of first date with her initials, picture of my niece who was wayyy cuter and also gullible to what she now believes aren’t “real magic tricks” (humph. Love, I really could disappear behind my hands and then reappear out of nowhere.. there’s just no way to prove I couldn’t. ) And a corrupted memory card that I hoped one day will work and bring alive so many moments that I would love to relive. Gone.

So it really wasn’t about the wallet. it wasn’t about the perishables. And it wasn’t about things. I was attached to something that was beyond that. Something intangible that had become a part of me or was a reminder of where I came from and what I aspired to be.

It was also a happy realization of something.

Memories I value. Things I don’t.

Understanding people - The adidas way

“Welcome to adidas sir, how may I help you?” My first day as a management intern at adidas Bangalore office started very differently from what I expected. Growing up in a typical middle class Indian family, adidas was an aspirational brand. I still remember my first pair of sports shoes, Reebok, a brand that was almost synonymous with the Indian cricket team.  It’s funny how we associate brands with certain people or sports or even emotions. MRF was the only sticker I would put on my cricket bat because Sachin had it on his. It made me feel different, it made me feel empowered, it made me feel good about myself… today was one such day! This was real now; I was working with the brand.

An interesting aspect of an organisation is its induction process. Each mentor has his own way of guiding his mentee, of showing him the ropes. On my first day, I had a long discussion with my mentor, about everything but business. We talked about everything from my primary school to graduation; my journey from theatre to a voice over artist; from being an engineer to a salesman. I tend to get animated when I talk. I sensed he was reading me, trying to understand the difference between the projected self and the real me and I was okay with it. I was and have always been, all in!

He was an intern in a world renowned firm once, but it gave him nothing more than a brand name on his CV. My project, he said, would be tangible, measurable and mutually beneficial. “At the end of these two months you’ll know how the Indian retail sports industry works”.

The only way to understand sales is to understand the customer, and there’s no better way to do that than going into the field and getting your hands dirty. There, I had my induction and my first assignment. “A customer is walking into your door all by himself. All you need to do is understand him, his requirement, and instead of selling him a product, give him a solution. A happy customer will return and will ask for you specifically. He may even recommend you to his friends; also when you sell a solution, your units per transaction increase!” my retail associate buddy said and winked.

Every customer is a new story; every conversation is a new beginning, and every interaction teaches you more about the human psychology than you can possibly grasp out of Sigmund Freud books.

This Internship is turning out to be much more than just work. The most vital asset of any organisation is its people. I met some of the most wonderful people from varied backgrounds here, passionate about their work, passionate about their sports. All of whom have had much to contribute to me and to the growth of this place every day.

As far as my assignment was concerned, here is my certificate :)

Proud owners of Reebok Pump(centre), Retail associate-Amith (Right), and me

@Indira Nagar, Reebok Fit Hub store, Bangalore, India.

The battle is over, not the war. There is much to learn. They say a place takes its time to make you one of its own. adidas doesn’t seem to believe in such clichés. A customer walked in today and I effortlessly initiated a new story, “Welcome to adidas sir, how may I help you?”

Day Dreams And Coffee Beans!

"Find what you love and let it Kill you!"

How often do we find people who have actually found the true purpose of their lives? How often do we come across somebody who needs no motivation in life...and how often do we meet people who inspire the crap out of us by sheer passion of their own subject!

It’s rare! ...very rare!

My general observation is that majority of us spend almost entire lives trying to find that "Thing".

Some of us come close and find something that makes us happy and stick to it. Some of us fail miserably. But most of us just give up. I assume it must happen around the time when we have more fat on our bellys and less hair on our heads.

What is there to prove anyway...And to whom!

Supposing you have 80 years to live , and you spend 40 years doing something you know isn’t the thing you are made to do…I can only assume it must be frustrating.

A guy I met the other day told me that an average man over indulges in something he tends to like only to lose the attraction quicker. While explaining he asked me if I liked chocolates, “of course” I replied, “who doesn’t like chocolates!” He asked me if my father indulged in chocolates as much as me and if my grandfather indulged at all. “The Research” reveals that when you eat chocolate your brain releases the same chemicals it does when you are in love. So you want it more. You eat more and you want it even more…over indulgence causes you to get neutralized with the chemicals and you can’t feel a thing after that. Done! You don’t want chocolates anymore. Osho has a similar theory!

“You should be able to eat the chocolate with the same pleasure a kid does even if you are 80!” He said

Not that I agreed completely with the metaphor, but it does make sense. I recently made a playlist full of songs I have cherished and worshiped and sung and heard and could hear over and over again…. I thought! And I did...For almost a month I think... I still have the playlist in my cell...but it certainly isn’t in my ‘Recently Played’ tab! I am sure the songs are still great…musically enriching, divine...Just that I am over it.

Does this mean we should keep control over all our indulgence so that we can maintain the charm?

 Who cares! So what if the charm is gone? So what if the thing I loved the most is just another thing for me now??!! This external world is only for us to indulge….and to take from, I am sure I’ll run out of breaths before I can run out of things to over indulge and to get bored of! I hope.

And while exploring the world around us, separating the ‘To Keep’ from ‘To Throw Away’ there’s a tiny chance of you coming across that “THING”. Indulge how much ever you want...it will still be “The Thing”!

 If you do find it...You’re lucky...if you don’t, your life has been one heck of a journey anyway. Cheers!

My life so far has only been a series of discoveries…of what I have loved…and what I have loved more...or less. ‘This could be THE thing …This is just one of those things types’. None has transformed into something special. Something that will make the clock run its ass off. Something that is the inspiration of all my day dreams…and is the reason for all the coffee beans spilling all night long!

I have decided I am not going to worry much over ‘where my life is headed etc’.  

Que Sera Sera!

Beauty full of memories!!

He took a deep breath and put the bunch of roses by her side. The sweet odour struck him. He looked around, wondering if anyone could help him...

Football match, his team playing, number 31 on his jersey... He remembered the final goal, the triumphant music, the noise of the stadium and her eyes. All the awards...all the support she gave him... He never told her how glad he was that she believed in him. Although it was the perfect moment...

The image of the wedding party stood before his eyes. She was there, her red dress, her dark hair. She really was a looker. He loved her very much. They danced all night. Mechanically, he started murmuring a melody from that day...

A chill of cold wind returned him back to life. His hands were very cold. It was so cold and so calm. Winter. She liked winter. She would go skating and playing snowballs with him. He remembered how they sat by the fire, clinging to each other, drinking hot chocolate. He felt warmth inside, almost the taste of chocolate on his lips....

Someone gave a slight cough. His memories interrupted. He looked before him - there was she. Dressed in white. Her hair was done the way he liked it. He wanted to touch her, but someone said it was not proper. It was the 26th of December, the day she loved so much, their 43rd anniversary. He put the red roses by her side, and, bowing to her, whispered, "You have still got the looks, I love you so much."

In a few minutes they closed the coffin....

Bullets...Guns...and Cocain!!

you dont kno wht it feels like to wake up to the same dream every day
its like a splinter in your head...
lodged forver....mind numbing pain
never knew wht it felt like until THEN!!!

every morning when i look into the mirror..
i dont see my self
the walls on the other side arent familiar either

evrything i owned back then was bought with BLOOD money
the television,the showcase,the sofa...even the food tht i ate..evry bit of it

and i did away with all that..
everything but food
food sustains life...
and life is precious
smart ppl always value it the most
they never mattered to me
the ones who did.....wer shot dead!!

THEY CALL HIM THE FAT LUCKY BASTARD
HAS ESCAPED TWO ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE..
THEY SAY HE REFUSES TO HAVE BODY GUARDS
HUH...ONE FAT PRETENTIOUS LUCKY BASTARD
NOT THIS TIME..

that day my precision failed me
it cost me my reputation
one mistake and a lifetime of misery
but nothing lasts forever..
especially misery!
its amazing how a bullet can end a life and its miseries

one shot gone wrong and i am smoking cartons
it makes my hands shiver
in this trade,perfection cant have a tremble
but i am smoking now...y??....you wud kno if u wer me..

i lived a life of bloodshed...guts...and glory..
i had everything then...
EVERYTHING that matters.....
NOTHING TO ME NOW!!

sanity kept in..
i never had courage to..pull the trigger on my self
but desperation often drives a man to the brink of insanity
and i am desparate to set the things right
one last job and then .....its OVER!!

ITS AMAZING HOW A BULLET CAN END A LIFE AND ITS MISERIES!!!

Anyway

okkay its been time tht my so called blog "dddrunk" is empty, and no i wasnt busy doing anything sane,nor was thinking about the eternal truth or some crap like 'who are we?? and wht the hell are we doing here??are we alone??? ' , i wasn't ill,i wasnt isnt and i hope will never be dumped by my galfriend but mind you its not that i didnt give it a shot..i sat on the computer several times saying to myself tht theres no way tht i am going to get up without writing anything...but i did and i am still not sure i if am ever gonna be able to "complete " a single blog!!
to defend myself i have quite a few reasons..
first of all..i dunno wht this "blog" thingy means... the word blog doesnt exist for my dictionary!! strange huh!!
secondly the loads of enthusiasm with which i opened this account and gave it the name tht it has...i seriously didnt kno wht went into it!
to clear a few things this blog is not about boozing..alcohol to me till date is an alien thingy (max to max i can tell the molecular formula..but i wont becoz thtd be lame)
thirdly i didnt hv better things to do so i preferred doin the worse ones
fourthly i hv to publish whtever i write today
fifthly fourth one is not a reason
sixthly neither is the fifth one

so anyway...


anyway